In the realm of procrastination a form of online entertainment thrives: personality quizzes. It doesn’t matter that they’re often grossly inaccurate; we flock to Buzzfeed and Facebook to find out which Game of Thrones or Disney character we are, when we should be studying. In particular, I’ve seen a rise in quizzes which promise to discover your spirit animal.
Spirit animals are a representation of the qualities you possess and can tell you as much about someone as a Hogwarts House can. My friends have described me as either “a fluffy baby bear that’s still learning to catch fish,” or Bambi. I begrudgingly agree.
However, there is one animal I feel a deep, soulful connection to: the Great Panda. These animals are more than just the cute and cuddly poster bears of endangered species. They possess many traits that I think everyone could benefit from channeling. So let’s face it, Pandas are the realest and here’s why they should be your spirit animal.
A lot of people don’t know this about Pandas but they’re clever and will manipulate you to get what they want. They unashamedly look out for themselves. Probably the best example of this is the way that female Pandas have been known to fake pregnancies so that they receive extra food, constant care and private, air-conditioned rooms. I am not being sarcastic at all when I say we have got some bad-asses over there. Now, I wouldn’t go so far as to suggest you fake a pregnancy so your partner gives you extra attention, but we can all learn a lesson from this. It’s okay to look out for yourself, be your number one supporter, even if that means being a little sneaky.
I can’t tell you how many videos I have seen of Pandas having a bit of a tumble, it’s enough to say that Pandas are bundles of cuteness and love doing random gravity checks. This is something we can all relate to. You’re walking along Broadway, down or up the Tower Building stairs, when suddenly you trip. It’s mortifying, cringeworthy and sometimes painful. But something we all do shouldn’t be quite so embarrassing and Pandas know this. When they fall over, they own it. They don’t crouch down or try to dig a little hole they can quietly die in. They keep calm and carry on their clumsy way. And they look hella cute while doing it.
Some animals, like rabbits, breed extremely easily. Some have strong maternal instincts. Pandas are lacking in both these areas but they don’t really give a f***. Female Pandas are only interested in getting it on for three days every two or three years. If they’re not feeling it they just don’t do it and they don’t stop to feel bad that they’re letting the entire endangered species down. How often do we take on too much in life just to please other people? I’m not talking about sex here anymore but every important task. We tend to say yes to extra work because we don’t want to let people down. We don’t know how to say no. Remember, Pandas put themselves first and you should too.
Not only are Pandas temperamental when it comes to breeding but they’re not excellent parents either. When females give birth to two cubs in the wild they often abandon one so they can care for the other. Sure, that’s harsh but maybe if the Daddy Panda helped out a bit the second cub could survive. I’m not telling you to leave your offspring to die but there’s something admirable in being unabashedly flawed, being imperfect and not caring at all.
Honestly, have you seen these creatures? They could not be cuter if they actually tried. Whether they’re eating, sleeping or failing at life they are the most precious, endearing fur-balls you will ever see. So take a leaf out of their bamboo book. Whatever you’re doing in life, do it with style, flair and the knowledge that you are mega cute. Pandas prove that if you’re cute, you can get away with a lot.
It’s time you opened yourself up to the Year of the Panda. Accept that you’re not perfect and love yourself wholeheartedly despite that. Have your best interests at the forefront of your mind and don’t take on more than you can handle. Come on, let’s all do The Panda, even if it means falling over on the Alumni Green.
Baby Sneezes, Scares Mum
Panda Bub Playing, Then Eating with Mum (from 1:20)
Haters Gonna Hate
I Choose You
By Brittant Smith