As the semester comes to an end, you’ll find yourself with a whole lot of free time and little to no clue in what to do with it. At least, that was the case for me. Until I figured, hey why don’t I watch that movie I never got around to? Riveting stuff I know.
I’m not a horror movie person, never have been, and don’t think I ever really will be. But I remember a time when I was younger, where all the other kids just loved horror movies; and so, a lot of the conversations were about whatever new one had come out like Saw XVII or Silence of the Lambs.
A classic I’m sure most people have come across in the horror movie scene is the Human Centipede. See this particular movie, was one not even some of the real die hard horror loving kids had gotten to; all except this one boy in our class, let’s call him Dave. Dave was the centre of attention that day, he was a story telling genius, giving us all the play-by-play of what disgusting stuff went down and we were all loving him for it. What we didn’t know at the time was, Dave was a bloody con-man. I decided to spend my newfound extra time finally conquering this fear, and experiencing this visceral cinematic masterpiece of my childhood first-hand and found that HE HAD MADE THE WHOLE THING UP.
Look, I’m a reasonable person, if it was just years of my life spent with a complete bullshit understanding of a movie, that would be fine! What really got me, was that I had had faked so many conversations with people about this; and they all fucking knew. I know what you’re thinking, how often am I talking about the Human Centipede? And the answer is more often than I’d like to admit. But the thing is, I trusted good ole’ Dave’s amazing story-telling and descriptive skills to pull me through in these conversations and made myself an active participant. You’re probably thinking, that’s so dumb, why would I risk doing something like that? And you’re right, but I had done the same thing so many times before with no one ever saying anything, so I THOUGHT I was pulling it off just fine.
So now, I’m left scarred not only by the movie, but the thought of all of those people I can never look in the eye again after having confidently exposed myself as a fake. Have fun during semester break guys, maybe avoid conquering childhood fears in this one.
Author: Inasha Iftekhar