Is Tinder the future of dating?

Art by  Bel Holborow .

Art by Bel Holborow.

“Dating apps are super important for LGBT+ people. In public, you’re looking at a smaller dating pool without a way of discerning their sexuality. Tinder provides that opportunity, and allows you to screen your dates per se. You have more control and can take a more streamlined approach to dating. Additionally, it’s allowed gay people to escape the forced culture of gay venues, and with it, a lot of the negative stereotypes of gay communities. So you have a lot more freedom over your individualism, plus it makes it easier for people to explore their sexuality in a safe medium. Tinder being the future of dating would not be such a bad thing.” - Finn Parker

“As the world continues to become more and more dependent on technology, online dating sites like Tinder will undoubtedly become the future of dating. Every one of my friends is on Tinder, and I was convinced by someone to ‘just try it’. So I did. And unfortunately, all of my low expectations were confirmed in under and hour. For me, Tinder is a platform that relies on superficiality and shallowness. My experience was defined by predatory males with blatant sexual intentions. It felt degrading and cold and I can only hope that real human contact and genuine connections can never be replaced by online dating.” - Olivana Lathouris

“I don’t think Tinder is the future of dating. While currently it’s more common than ever, I’ve noticed the people around me (as have I) getting sick of the over-stimulating, excessive and meaningless way of it. Personally I’ve had bad experiences with Tinder too: I’d much rather meet someone in-person, or not at all, than use Tinder.” - Tara Wesson

“Tinder has the potential to connect you with some genuine and cool people if you have the time and patience. Unfortunately, I did not, and I uninstalled the app after about five days of use. The toxic masculinity is real, people! I understand that this may not be the case for every Tinder match, but for romantics and poets like me, it’s probably best to wait for the one to spot you from across the room.” - Listy Dobson

“I feel as if Tinder is absolutely necessary for people in the LGBT+ community because of the limited amount of spaces we have. There’s nowhere simple for LGBT+ people to meet partners, it’s either clubs or bars and both are alcohol-fueled and sometimes overtly sexual. As a minority group, apps like Tinder are essential to help us find the one, even though guys love to ghost you like their name’s Bill Murray. Tinder isn’t terrible. Men are.” - Michael Di Iorio

“I was told that there are two unwritten rules for guys using Tinder:

1. Be attractive

2. Don’t be unattractive.
Those two rules were the difference between some guy getting two unresponsive matches after 28 days, and another guy getting eight matches in 14 days: four no-replies, two “haha’s”, one “you’re funny”, and one actual response that lasted for about three back-and-forth’s before getting unmatched. Those were some of my experiences at least, whereas a female friend of mine made me weep internally when I saw her perusing through the 23 matches that she made on one day alone. All of which started with some variation of “hey”. Thrilling opener! But I rested my faith in the fact that my friend and my experiences with Tinder do not reflect what actually goes on in real life. If it did, it would seem like most guys would die virgins and all girls would have a never-ending line of guys aching to give them attention. Of course, these are extreme generalisations based off my personal experiences, but shouldn’t Tinder mirror all the subtleties and nuances that goes with the initial stages of dating in real life? That’s what a dating app should be, and not an alternative digital platform for people to juggle whether their self-esteem should rise or fall based on how much attention they get.

It is in this context that I don’t think Tinder should be the future of dating. It is so superficial, so far disillusioned from reality, and it is really hard to find genuine authenticity on Tinder if the only criteria for approval is based on looks and calculated wit. Tinder should not be the be all and end all of dating. But if you’re looking for a quick root or a cheeky ego boost, either through your hundreds of matches or from that one person who replies “lol” in a sea of unrequited right swipes, then by all means go for gold!” - Calvin Lu

This article appeared in The Comma’s 2018 Annual Edition. Read more here.