Things you need to hear to mend your heart
Not all of us are Taylor Swift, and can cope with a break up by producing a viral song. Sevin Pakbaz wants you to know that a breakup isn’t the end of the world.
So you had the awful conversation and it’s over. You don’t know what to do with yourself, because the comfort of your routine has ended. Whether it was the Thursday burritos, or Sunday night Luna Park trips, it’s starting to settle in that those are no more.
You will go through phases. At first, you will be overwhelmed by the thoughts of them, and in denial of letting go. You can’t even go through your camera roll and delete all the photos of them yet. You hesitate to go to places you have been with them, just in case it triggers another Niagara Falls of tears. You will also get very angry, and try to trace back to where it could have gone wrong. The what-ifs and should-haves will keep you up at night, alongside loss of appetite, disengagement and sadness.
As you start to slowly crumble into a miserable ball of tears, remember everything does happen for a reason. Don’t be sad that you won’t find anyone like them. Be happy that you will find someone who’s a better fit for you.
It’s hard being alone after a break-up. It hurts, because you know how nice it feels to have someone to lean on or talk to about your day. You miss the comfort of their good morning texts and phone calls. You miss having someone who knows you as well as they did. It’s similar to losing a friend, but you shared more with this person than you could ever with a friend.
Despite you thinking that continuing life without them is meaningless - this feeling isn’t permanent and it will fade. There is still flavour to life.
Focus on loving yourself rather than the idea of finding someone else that loves you. Because once self-love is ignited, it’ll be a flame that burns for eternity, and with that shining light of warmth, you will attract better people in your life. Nurture your mind with positive thoughts - things can only get better.
Use your single-hood to your advantage; find a new hobby. Go do that thing you have always wanted to with your best friend. Get a tattoo. Learn to enjoy your own company.
Spend time with you family and friends. Your true friends will be by your side through all this, so make sure they know how much you appreciate them. Giving love to those who care about you feels amazing.
Most importantly, do not regret what happened. It’s important to fall in love with the wrong person. It’s important to have a relationship that ends in a breakup, because without it, you would not know what a good relationship feels like. Gain as much as you can and learn from your mistakes. Take it as a growth exercise, and then move on. Because no matter how much you want to hold onto the past - the world moves on. Tomorrow becomes today which becomes yesterday, and days go on.
Giving the most sacred parts of you, spilling your most private thoughts to someone, and watching it all end is very discouraging. Pick yourself up, and know that being genuine isn’t a crime. Don’t let heartbreak close you off to people.
If it helps, just know the best of us goes through this, and if they can, so can you.
Cheer up buttercup. You deserve respect, patience and consistent love.
Better things are on their way.
P.S. you will also go through a crazy stage. Please abstain from burning their jacket, or egging their car.
Sevin Pakbaz is a second-year Journalism/Law student, who loves to blow her money on expensive vegan waffles. Her strange obsession with true crime documentaries and star signs keeps her occupied when she should be catching up on uni.